Monthly Archives: October 2012

Stuff my mom never bought me

I was listening to my daughters talk about this year’s hottest boot trend, Kate Spade purses, iPhones, and other crap they want and don’t need… and I was thinking how trendy all this stuff is. When I was growing up, I would have never had an iPhone. I’d be the kid taking selfies with a 35mm film camera and using my T9 to enter text messages at 10cents each.

I did save up some Whataburger money once to buy a pair of Marithe Francois Girbaud jeans. They were important because the label was white and plastered across the zipper. Everyone had a pair, and so did I. I wore them at least a couple times a week. I wish I still had them. They were unbelievably expensive… I’m pretty sure they were close to $50! Gasp.

When I look back, there are several things I never had the chance to enjoy. Here’s my list of must haves from the 80’s and 90’s (that I never got), and why they were so amazing.

Glamour Shots

Seriously. I wanted this so bad. The photos were always perfect. Soft glow camera filter, they did you hair and make up. And holy crap — you got to pick from all those amazing outfits!

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Kaepas Tennis Shoes

Who doesn’t want beautiful white vinyl tennis shoes that you can accessorize with matching Kaepa Triangles? How do you spell bad ass? K-A-E-P-A-S

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Hypercolor Clothing

This magic fabric changed color simply by the touch of your hand. Who doesn’t want to be able to make handprints on your boobs, and moments later see it disappear!? Let’s say you’re having a hot crotch day – Hyper color let’s everyone know! Best thing ever. Seriously, it’s a thing.

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Blossom Hat

Blossom was an amazing superstar of our generation. She wore amazing hats with amazing flowers planted on the front. What style, what grace. I so longed for one.

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Rabbit Coat

My aunt had a coat like this, and she was very sophisticated. I knew when I grew up and could afford it, I would get a rabbit coat as soon as I could. That’s right, sinched at the waist, soft fur, and a giant collar with a big plastic zipper. It would never go out of style.

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Braces

I wanted braces so bad during my early teen years. All the cool kids had them, and in the end they were beautiful. I had none.

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Legwarmers

What better accessorie to your Jane Fonda workout than a pair of shiny tights and matching legwarmers? Pretty much nothing. Nothing is better than leg warmers, and I never had them. Ever.

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Rocky Mountain Jeans

Every girl in Craptown had these jeans. I too wanted to give birth to my denims. These high-waisted beauties were every cowgirls dream. Luckily, I was able to borrow some from friends. I never actually owned a pair. Size 5? 8? 12? Doesn’t matter, I made it work.

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Do you think this will deter my kids from asking for that Kate Spade purse, or those trendy boots? No, I didn’t think so. It does remind me to dress in black. Everything black. It’s always in style, right?

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